A Brief Attempt at a Bucket List

So, I know we all do it, say, "I hope to do this before I die" or "wouldn't that be a lot of fun" but how many of us actually write down and think about those things that we want to do.  So here's my attempt at writing and explaining my top ten on my bucket list.

10. Go back to Europe.  -I've been there once and absolutely loved it.  It's such a different culture and way of life and it's something I want to experience again now that I've grown up and found myself a bit more.

9. Dance with someone I love in the pouring rain.  -Every one's guards seem to be down more when they are out in the rain and it brings back everyone's inner child.  So why not dance in the rain just to have fun.

8. Sleep in a cemetery. -I know this one sounds really weird, but to me they are some of the most peaceful and relaxing places to be.

7. Complete a marathon Monday. - drink from six am monday to six am tuesday. Self explanitory.

6. Fully live my life to the fullest. - I know this sounds cliche but in the past month I have learned a lot about myself through the loss of 3 people and by almost losing one of my best friends.

5. Go sky-diving. - I love the idea of the thrill.  If I could live my life solely on the adrenaline rushes that life throws my way I would. This is one rush I definitely want to experience.

4. Learn something new about my family. - I have a very close knit family but at the same time I feel like we are distant from each other.  We keep our walls up to protect ourselves and I want to break down those walls and really get to know my sibling.s

3. Own my own house.

2. Get married to the right man. - I know, another cliche thing, but to fall in love and have it 100% reciprocated would be amazing.  I've seen a lot of good marriages and I've also seen many fall apart and I'm scared to fall in love because of it.

1. Have kids. No feeling is greater than watching a loved one grow up and mature, one day I would love to watch my own children grow up and play with their cousins and my God child.

Fam(ily)

"Some people care too much. I think it's called love" -Winnie the Pooh

Wow, how does a year fly by so quickly? I was standing downstairs talking to my Dad tonight when I looked at the calender and thought, holy cow, where did this year go and how come it feels like I don't remember half of it? Granted I know turning 21 and alcohol may have something to do with me not remembering half of it, but it feels like time goes faster and you grow older. Looking back though I'm glad I decided to make the changes in my life that I have.  Quitting school and deciding to work was the smartest decision of my life. Now I'm not saying that I'll never go back to school, but right now it's just not in the cards for me.  Being semi-carefree and enjoying the little things right now has been a blessing in disguise. I can take time to focus on my happiness rather than trying to please everyone else around me.  I can look at life and be so thankful for the people that I have in it. Here's a list of some great memories thus far in 2011.

St Patty's Day.

My Dad's Birthday.

Celebrating Ashley's and I's Birthday.

My Birthweek.

Seeing Sativa, Jamie, Kief and David.

The Lake

The Pit

Whit and Monica's Birthdays

WEfest.

Here's things to look forward to still:

Nathan's 21st

Freakfest

A weekend at the lake

Thanksgiving

Family Christmas

St. Thomas.

When you look back on it, life is pretty amazing. When you come to a hurdle on your journey sit back in think, "Will this affect me in 5 years?" And if it doesn't, move on. If it does, figure it out calmly and rationally.  Just because it seems like it's the biggest issue now, doesn't mean that it's not going to be okay.  By the way, I love my family.  We may not have it all together...but together we have it all.  When I say family I don't just mean my blood relatives, I mean my core group of friends who support me through it all... 

One final note..."everything falls apart my dear, the only permanent thing in life is family."

3 days :)

Love is a movement, joy but a moment.
Happiness is but an instance where you think it all will be okay.
Faith can't be shaken, yet my heart is breaking.
The sadness and tears keep creating these fears.
I'm afraid of the past, it keeps coming in fast.
So hold me tight and don't let go.
I'll try to run and I'll try to hide,
just hold on tight it will be a bumpy ride.
Make me a promise you swear not to break.
Hold me close and whisper in my hear,
I'm here for you through and through.
Kiss me tonight while we're still here.
Don't let today become yesterday
Tomorrow is still too soon.
Look me in the eye, I'm here for you.
Stand here and watch; you'll see I'm waiting.
Leave my breathless, make me shake less.
The butterflies keep turning,
They're turning because of you.

New year, new energy.

Hm, how to start off today's blog... 
2011 has already had it's ups and downs for me.  It started off with an amazing couple of new years parties and my ability to black out after 1:30.  On the 2nd we took a semi-family vacation to Green Bay to watch the Packers successfully beat the Bears (the Bears still suck). And I say semi-family vacation because it was my dad, brother and one of my sisters.  We asked Mom why she didn't want to go and she said she's not much of an outdoor football fan when it's cold out and she's not a Packer fan. But it's LAMBEAU FIELD!! A phenomenal experience no matter if you're a Packer Backer.  I went snowboarding with a few friends which was awesome....until I ended up in ER because I severely sprain my neck and back. (my bad luck continues). 

I have come to love both of my jobs.  They are on completely opposite ends of the spectrum though when it comes to human resources, one working a group home with six mentally retarded adults and the other working as a cashier/hostess at Buffalo Wild Wings in downtown Mankato.  Working with Living Links the clients become your family and just this past weekend one was admitted to the hospital and unfortunately never came back out.  So here's to Sara, I love you and I miss you.  The house just isn't the same without you, I'm so glad you are no longer feeling any pain, may your angel wings carry you to far out places you can now see again. You are our shining star.

I have some of the greatest friends in the world here in Mankato and I'm truly glad that I am taking time  off from school for a couple semesters, life is too crazy to not give yourself a break sometimes especially when you  really have no idea what you want to do with your life anymore.  So for now ces't la vie. 

Halloweekend :)

It's finally here! Halloweekend, one of my favorite weekends of the year and this year a group of us are heading out to Mad-town :) We've had a countdown going all month and it's hard to believe that we are leaving in 3 days. Anywho, life is still crazy and it feels as if it's not going to be slowing down anytime soon, but that's okay. Being busy is a good thing :)

Tidbits

Well, It's been a while since I've posted anything, but that tends to happen when life catches up to you and you end up hospitalized and undergo surgery. Mid September until now has been nuts, but it seems that whenever life begins to get okay, something crazy happens again. Some useless tidbits for you:
Some doctors don't know what they're talking about, in fact they say you don't need surgery and that they're just going to put you on an anti biotic, but then the surgeon comes in and says you need surgery because without it  you're appendix will only become more inflamed.

My friends are the shit, we do crazy random things and find the enjoyment in the little things.

My job is absolutely the most rewarding job I've ever had. Hearing the clients laugh because of something stupid you've done is absolutely adorable.

Don't let life get you down when it's tough, look up and know that someone will be standing there to grab your hands and lift you to your feet.

Life is...well busy

It's hard to believe that life can be as busy as it is.... Looking back on it, I would have never thought that I could have made it in far in life as I have in this short of time.  I'm 20 years old and have found out more about myself in these past two years than I did in the first 18 years of my life.  Living on my own and having to act like an adult has changed who I am.
Some things that I've learned in college:
1)Things are easier when you don't look at a week's schedule, look at what you need to accomplish that day and you won't feel so overwhelmed.
2)Your siblings really can be your best friends, distance makes you realize how much they mean to you.
3) Find a few good friends and hold onto them for life; it's better to have a few good friends you can confide in rather than having many acquaintances that you cannot trust.
4)Guys are great friends, they can help you with advice about other guys.
5)It's okay to not always be happy, struggling with your emotions helps you figure out who you are and where you stand.
6)It's okay to have fun, just don't let it get in the way of the more important things.
7)Sometimes all you need is a playlist of sappy love songs and a mug of hot cocoa to mend a bleeding heart.
8)It's okay to call friends at 4 a.m. crying your eyes out, they won't be mad that you woke them up, they'll just ask what's wrong.
9) Find something simple and fun as a destressor, coloring is nice :)
10)Keep yourself busy, you'll stay more on top of your work that way.


God will never say no to any request you make, His typical three answers are yes, not right now, or I have something better in mind for you.  Live by God's MASH board, don't try to make your own.
Starting orientation for my job this week has been a life saver, but at the same time I'm busier than ever...sometime's life is just easier that way.